(You are viewing the published version of this document.) (You must republish this document for viewers to see the latest version. Republish document.) The Chronicles of Bloomsbury: The Fat Bitch: May 2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

X-Men? more like No way, man!

I went to see X-Men: The Last Stand on Saturday. Being the big-blockbuster fan that I am, I just had to see it. It costs $165 million to make!!!(Some say it's actually $210 million)

My verdict : IT SUCKED

There's just too many characters in X-Men. And if the director and his crew of writers are not careful, they might simply forget about the characters. For example, the character Angel was introduced at the beginning of the movie as a boy who tried to cut off his wings. Because this scene is shown even before the opening credits, and Angel has been one of the hypes of the movie, I thought the movie would talk more about Angel. But no....... Despite the fact that his father is the creator (or rather the financier) of the "cure", he is totally insignificant.

The movie was also supposed to focus on Jean Grey, who in this movie turns into Phoenix. I remember watching the animated series and when Jean turned into Phoenix, she actually turned into a phoenix. She even had flame around her body, shaped like a phoenix, and flew. But in this expensive movie, Jean was just a glorified floating version of Carrie. She even had veins on her skin when she was angry, just like in Carrie 2!! And when Famke Janssen tried to show her acting skills by portraying Jean as someone with dual identity, she failed miserably, and it made the movie look so bad!!! There're TWO Oscar winners in this film!! What a bloody waste of talent!!

However, all the buzz created by Fox worked and X-Men 3 opened huge last weekend, with the fourth biggest opening weekend of all time. So now Fox is saying that this is not the last movie, and they have even started making Wolverine and Magneto spin-offs. Great. I have a suggestion for an opening sequence of X4 (anyone who hasn't seen X3, stop reading now)

Rouge and Iceman are having sex, and because the "cure" turns out to be temporary as suggested by the closing scene, Rouge's power comes back, and Iceman dies. They can make the scene look like the opening of Basic Instict. And with Iceman out of the way, They can bring in Gambit to be Rouge's boyfriend.

I should be a Hollywood writer.

Friday, May 26, 2006

One big plate of gooey cheeeeeessseee....

I went to the tv room last night and Channel 4 was playing My Best Friend's Wedding. So I stayed and watched. I remember watching it as a kid. I watched the piratedtape. But I don't remember finishing it. So I stayed until the end. And at the end of the movie I smiled. It felt good. I thought it was brilliant. And I thought
"Wow. Romantic comedies used to be great....."

Yes. Romantic comedies used to be great. They weren't too cheesy like Hitch, or plain and boring like Failure to Launch. And they wonder why romantic comedies aren't doing well at the box-office. OK. Hitch was like... the best-selling romantic comedy of all time or something. But that is due to great marketing strategy. Not the quality of the movie. Seriously.

I think that is why Brokeback Mountain did well in the box-office. It talksabout falling for someone you know you can never have, or be with. It's not a comedy, but the basic story is there. Like My Best Friend Wedding, the story is something many people can relate to. Gay or straight. A lot of people have that kind of story. They fall in love, and they realise that it's just not gonna happen. Sothey fight, knowing that they're gonna lose. They strive, knowing that they're gonnafail. And they dream, knowing that it will never come true.

It's heartbreaking. But life goes on. We have to do what's right. But not in movies. Movie characters can do anything. They can fight,strive, or dream, and nobody gets hurt. Not in real life, I mean. Some characters commit suicide sometimes. But we know it's not real. That is why people go to the movies. Yes, movies aren't supposed to be real. They are supposed to befantasies. But fantasies that people can relate to. Real life situations that havethe desirable outcome non-achievable in real life. That's what movies really are.That's what they're supposed to be.

Our lives can nver be perfect. But we can hope. That's what movies provide. Hope. With hope, it won't be as painful. It won't be as excruciating. And if someone could be made to believe that there's hope just by buying a ticket and staring at a huge screen for 2 hours, they will.

I know I will.

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